about the name.
I sat for about an hour listing all different names for the film but none really stood out to me, until I decided to try and make the first letter from each dot point I had made and make it into its own word. I was trying too hard and over looking the simple yet catchy title. Which was when I finally saw m.i.a on my page and it hit me that this was the one!
so - what does it mean? 2 things!
1. m.i.a - mental illness awareness
2. m.i.a - missing in action - now I know this is a term commonly used in battlefronts, however - upon thinking about it, when you do suffer a mental illness you’re not fully you - you do go missing in a way.
It all just made sense to me so now, we’re running with it!
I don't think I've ever really posted a photo not showing off my signature smile.. I've used that smile for over a decade now to deter people from seeing who I really am. I use it with strangers, coworkers, what little friends I have, and even those I love.. For years I've worked on my mental health. And these last few years, I feel like I've gotten better but worse at the same time.. I feel like I'm not as suicidal as before, I love myself more often. But now I feel like I'm doing it for everyone else and not myself.. In the last month, I've called in once and I've left work early three times due to anxiety and how it effected my body.. That's not who I am. But these levels that have reached me now, they're too much. Hell, Thursday my breakdown almost ended with me on a train track.. And I've had that thought a little too often lately while taking this train daily.. I think I need to find me again. I thought I had, but this Emilia has just been living to please.. Just like the last 23 years apparently.. ·
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