WHY YOU’RE VULNERABLE WHEN RECEIVING FAVORS FROM OTHERS
You may have reasons for being private, to yourself, and generally untrusting of others. These traits could have been shaped by malicious people in your past. Now that you have developed a strong defense mechanism against malice, you should look further into how these types of people can find ways to hurt you and your close ones. Once bad people see that their target has built up a strong wall against malicious behavior and tactics, they will look to exploit facets of your personality which you haven’t yet focused on. A common tactic in doing so is to utilize favorable behavior to get closer to you and thereby do damage. People will see that you are a no-nonsense type of person and will try to find other angles to get you to be vulnerable to their attacks.
There will be people who do good just to do it, and others who will hide their true intentions behind good deeds. You shouldn’t automatically assume any unwarranted good deeds that others commit towards you are malicious. That is an unhealthy psychology on the subject to adopt. However, you should act in ways which do not put you in a position of vulnerability in the face of good deeds. Getting this right takes practice and an eye for balance. You need to balance the act of being thankful without being vulnerable to unexpected malicious attacks in the face of these pleasant feelings.
Reacting to Favors From Others
Most favors in life are positive behaviors from others which increase your positive feelings about that person. People commit favors to increase self-satisfaction with themselves; they like themselves more when they do good deeds for others.
HOW TO REACT WHEN SOMEONE TAKES CREDIT FOR YOUR WORK
Some of the work you do in life will go unnoticed. There will be times when you give a task everything you’ve got, and receive almost no recognition for your efforts. There will even be times when people take credit for the work that you’ve done. As if the efforts you put into creating excellent output could be replicated by anybody off the street, they will be accepted without any positive reinforcement in return. So how should you react to times when this takes place? Should you mention the fact that you worked hard on your work? Should you ask to be recognized by the people who are taking your effort for granted?
The answer is that you should not react at all to your work being taken for granted, or even being credited as being done by someone else. This will hurt to accept in the short-term, and you will feel the need to fight for your cause. However, this article aims to shed some insight into why you shouldn’t spend your energy and time attributing rightful credit to yourself. Apart from missing the sense of satisfaction you gain from being praised for the work that you do, you should understand that not receiving credit for the work you do and take pride in can actually serve to benefit you in the long-run.
Being Confident in Your Future Output
Take the approach of remembering that everything you do builds upon itself to create a better product in the future. All actions you commit, words you say, and thoughts you think will improve with every iteration that they go through. The work you did in the past is already old news, even if it was yesterday. Take pride in the work you’ll be doing later, rather than holding onto what you’ve done in the past. Your past work is simply one repetition among many. You marginally improve with everything you create, and sometimes not receiving credit for previous work is better for you.
WHY HAVING THE RIGHT ENEMIES CAN BENEFIT YOU
Everyone we meet in life has a list of people who they like, and a list of people who can be classified as an enemy. When trying to attain the respect of certain individuals around you, you need to tap into their likes and dislikes. You need to understand which methods will make you trustworthy in their minds, and which pathways will lead you to being on the list of people that they like. Most of us know that if we want to interact and be social with those around us, we need to be interested in what they’re interested in.
It is common thought that in order to make someone like you, you need to know what they like and seem interested in it. The mutual interests will drive conversation that will always give you something to talk about. What people forget however, is to tap into the dislikes of those who we want to like us as well. Every person finds things annoying, has their preferences, and looks for a team to be a part of as it relates to disliking those things. A lot of people also have enemies.
The enemies of those you respect, can be made your own enemies if the benefits of sharing them with the people you respect is worth it. Sharing the judgement of those you respect will make place you on the same team as them, even if they didn’t approve you being there. The enemies of those who you respect is a powerful thing to know. You can utilize that information to either overtake those who you respect by manipulating interactions with their enemies, or even befriending their enemies. Or you can come together to form a team in sharing the same enemies.
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WHY YOU SHOULDN’T COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING BUSY
You may find yourself neck-deep in looming tasks that need to be done. Whether in your professional or personal life, you will need to prioritize things which hold higher importance over those which can wait to be done later. In your efforts to prioritize, you will need to reject, decline, and postpone invitations from others. Whether it is an invitation to go out for dinner, or an invitation for your efforts on a task at work, you will find yourself in a position to decline because of how much you have on your plate.
In these situations, there are a myriad ways in which you can decline the invitations of others that wouldn’t hurt their feelings towards you. However, the only mistake which you should avoid at all costs is mentioning the fact of you being too busy to commit to their propositions. Do not bring up the fact that you are busy in conversations with others. It does not bring benefit to your cause, and is almost a sure-fire way of giving birth to negative feelings in the mind of your listener.
Introducing the fact that you are too busy for an invitation of another will give birth to competitive feelings within them. Even if the topic at hand is by no-means a competitive one, the fact that you have other commitments during the specific time another person wanted your presence to align with theirs, tells them that your time is more valuable. Complaining about the fact that your are too busy is a form of communicating how valuable your time must be. You may not be conscious about this message that you send, but know that it exists.
You may have noticed that people will begin to mention how busy they are as well, once you mention your state of being busy. Their desire to one-up you made it into auditory reality, and you should know that those competitive feelings will exist in most who you mention this to.
Continued at: http://influenceadvice.com/2018/03/15/shouldnt-complain-busy/
HOW TO KNOW WHEN TO ESCALATE ISSUES AT WORK
During workplace interactions, there are a lot of people you’ll be sending emails to. A common behavior is to carbon copy (CC) the people who are stakeholders in whatever the subject of the email you’re sending is. This behavior is fine when the emails do not contain issues or to do lists. However, when you discover issues with the work which someone else is responsible for, the less people you CC on the email the better.
Give Others a Chance to Fix Issues, Let Them Save Face
People do not like being corrected. Especially through written electronic means, the inclusion of management, supervisors, and other higher-ups in the emails intended for solving issues is not recommended. You should try your best to work out the issues you are having only with the people who have direct control over those issues. When you CC managers without letting the your recipient solve the issues at hand, you are making them feel inadequate in their managers eyes. Even though your issue may be solved marginally quicker when you CC managers in your email, your reputation will be ruined with the recipient.
The recipient of your emails should feel comfortable receiving your emails without there being a chance that their managers will find out about the smallest issues at hand. Always opt for the option to let your recipients save face.
HOW TO DELIVER BAD NEWS
The short answer is don’t deliver bad news at all as delivering bad news should be avoided as much as possible. When you deliver bad news you are risking people’s emotional response to be attached to your likability. Especially in professional environments, the delivery of bad news should be planned seriously and delivered carefully. The delivery of bad news should be avoided because bad news in a sense is the end. There would be no bad news if you were to figure out a solution to the problem at hand.
The delivery of bad news implies that you are bringing forth things that people don’t want to hear without a solution on how to fix those things. When you deliver bad news, you are no longer useful to the person who you are interacting with and might even be a hindrance.
When delivering bad news, ensure that you look for and present a solution to this news. Provide ideas on how to mitigate this news and think about the effect this news has on your recipient. As a manager, you will deliver a lot of bad news to your team. Maintaining levels of team morale are critical to when delivering bad news to your team. Make sure you explain thoroughly what this news means going forward and what steps of action will be taken to overcome these findings.
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